song of the moment...

I don’t know where we’re going
but i know we’ve gone too far and
i hope it isn’t showing
but i think i love you and
i can’t believe you’re leaving
just when i let you in and
when you had me believing
i could feel again

i could give a million reasons
why we should not be friends
our moods change like the seasons
when my mood ends your mood begins and
you’re a tease, you’re a cockblocker,
you’re a loudmouth bitch, and a big talker,
but that’s okay
you’ll grow up someday

chorus
you’re the pill i never wanted to take—
an anti-misanthrope
mine was the heart i never thought you would break
my one hope was that i’d survive you

i’ve shown up for you
in ways that boy never would
but i know you’ll go back to him and
maybe you should, but
i hope you don’t go backwards
cuz i’m going on ahead and
one day you’ll wish that you had
stuck with me instead

chorus

as i wander through union square
i remember when you followed me there
you were the stalker i kinda wanted to have
being your half-boyfriend was only half bad

cake...

in my line of work i see a lot of cakes
but this has more to do with having your cake
and eating it too....

why is it human nature to want it all
even if we have all we need
we still have the need for more...

when will it be enough
will just one-someone ever be enough
for some....

one love
one heart

one goal
one life

to share...

that is enough for me...



fairytale...

"i don't want a story, i want the fairytale"

i see so many stories

they appear so perfect

whirl wind romance

passionately, reckless love...

i have felt that kind of love

it never lasts...

i have this vision of how it should be

but with time, it fades

i'm not sure it exists...

people fall out of love

as quickly as they fell in

engagements lasting longer then marriages

marriages plagued with emotional and physical affairs...

is unconditional love too much to as for

a safe place from the rest of the world

or are we searching

searching for something that no longer exists...

new chapter or a new book...

"do i start a whole new book with someone else, or do i start a new chapter in an old book with my ex?"

Funny how there is a tweet for everything you could possibly be going through in your life...

There are people in life that you know so well can not see for years -- and when you see them, it is as though no time has passed. You pick up and just go on. But very rarely there is someone who will surprise you. And they will change so much, that it is like meeting a completely new and different person.

My ex is one of those people. We talk and I just stare with a puzzled look on my face, because the person that sits in front of me is in fact the same person I dated for 2 years...but is no where close to the person that I was with.

You see our relationship was really good when it was good. And really bad when it was bad. He was my first real love. We were young, he took me for granted, and I let him. And one day I woke up in our bed, and I decided it needed to end. We were going no where.

It wasn't until we broke up that we finally told each other that we loved one another. And I was heart broken for years. And I now I know so was he. I stayed single, he jumped into another relationship. I guess we all cope differently.

When I love, I love completely....recklessly.

So now he is back. Wanting a second chance to make everything right that was so wrong. And to be honest I don't know how I feel about it all. There were reasons we broke up, and most of them are not valid at this point. But one is. One very important one.

It will take time -- because right now my heart isn't ready to love. But when the time comes, is this a bridge that I should cross? Or are some things better left unknown?

stability...

i tend to get too caught up in life

running around trying to do it all at once

i forget to take time to breathe...

we all need time for ourselves

i find it easier to put that time and energy into others

leaving my life in a state of chaos...

i need stability or something the resembles it...

i think this is a trait my significant other should hold

i'm obviously NOT good at balance

stability...

but in an effort to balance
i am taking more time for me
time to write...

time to just be...

i need...

i need to get away....

do something interesting....

something adventurous....

i need a break...

from life...

drama...

i need grounding...

spiritually...

emotionally...

i need hope...

in more...

in people...

with light comes dark...

with the joy comes misery...

with love comes pain...

we cannot choose what happens to us -- we can only choose how we will react

 no matter how dark it gets

 no matter the misery

or the pain we feel

there is always an end...

sometimes we just have to make that choice...