Um...Vegas Take 2...and stuff...

So we are off to Vegas again this weekend for Halloween...

To answer your question Yes I intend on seeing Hot Bellagio Boy...we'll just call him HBB for future reference.

Check out my photo blog later today for pictures from last weekend! I'm still trying to figure out CS4...but practice makes perfect right?

On a completely different note...all stuff work related.

1st -- I have the best "cube" in our whole building. In fact it really isn't a cube per say...I have the best view. Out of 400+ folks...how did I end up with this view?? Total luck? Or brown nosing?? Who knows, but I love it. And I'm not complaining. Most people are stuck with 4 walls...I have an open cube and a view out 3 windows...

2nd -- I think I have an adiction to pens and post it's....want to know my secret? I take the packs and and take out the colors that I like...then give the ugly colors to my engineers. They don't care... :) Alex...if you read this don't tell on me!

3rd -- How am I supposed to get any work done when I have to stare at this picture all day...it just makes me want to go back to Santorini. In truth I am kind of sad that it is almost November because I'll have to turn the page...

PS...excuse the picture please. They were taken with my phone since I don't have my camera...

Snow Bunny...

I have been called a Snow Bunny all day long...could this be why?

And yes I have been praying for snow faithfully...

Road Trip Foto...

Last weekend I went to Vegas for a photography workshop. It was completely amazing. I learned so much. It gave me a totally new perspective on photography and I have been so excited to go out and use all the knowledge I gained.

Plus I met a freaking hot guy while I was there. And yes if he reads this I am going to be embarrassed. But he already caught me with my Facebook status from that night...so ya...haha. Oh well. :)

Below is a picture of the "girls" in front of the Bellagio...where I met the hot guy.

Photos...

My friend Zeb and I went out on Sunday night so I could try out a few things I learned at my photography workshop. You can find those photos on my picture blog..link to the right.

Below are a few he shot of me. I like how he did some funky editing.

Love and Lost...

They say that it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

Falling in love is the easiest thing you will ever do. But losing that love, is one of the most painful things you can go through.

My biggest fear is losing that love. The one I want to spend the rest of my life with. Maybe that is why I haven't let myself fall completely in love again. It hurts too badly when it ends.

I have become an expert at sabotaging my own happiness. I seem to know all the right things to say and do. The right guys to date, and more importantly the ones I shouldn't.

I know the one that changed me. And I think I kind of knew after him that it would be virtually impossible for me to let someone get that close again. I was close this year...close to loving like that again...

Is there a point that the heartache dulls in your mind?

Will the fear fade?

I know at some point I will trust someone again. That I'll let myself go and just love without hesitation. And be so totally consumed by love that it isn't just needing that person....it is knowing that we don't need to rush, because we have eternity...and that is a very long time.

Flu Shot...

I got my flu shot today...ouch! But at least I brought my own cute band aid to put on afterward!

Sleep...

Sleep, what's that?

The lack of sleep continues. The headache has continued. I finally had enough and went to the doc. He gave me meds. Strong ones. They kind of scare me. haha. I think I'll take it at like 8 tonight and so I actually wake up in the morning.

Hopefully I will be a new person, less headache, more concentration, not about to fall asleep at any given moment. Maybe sleep is the key to not being so emotional...guess we'll see.

T minus 3 Days...

3 Days till Vegas trip number one!!!! :) I am so excited!

Reflection...

At this time last year...

I was dating a boy, and I freaked out and dumped him. Sometimes I regret that. He is now married.

I was about to start dating the boy I ended up engaged to...we all know how that turned out. (a lot less bling, and a lonely left finger)

I had just gotten back from a life changing trip to Greece.

I moved back to my old job, that I love.

I was going on a trip to Palm Springs with my best friends. Who are no longer my friends.

I stayed home for Halloween.

This year...

I am not dating anyone.

We are headed to Vegas for Halloween...

I am still working that job I love with a new boss...that isn't used to my sass yet.

I am about 10 pounds lighter.

I am happy.

Sometimes...

Some days the writing and photography aren't enough to drowned it out...and it consumes me.

We went to shoot today. And for the first time my head wasn't in it. I had a few good shots. But spent most of the night just staring at this building. And as I sat there a calm came over me. And for those moments the rest of it all kind of faded away.

Um...

Is it strange that in kindergarten that I was watching MTV and Madonna's "Like a Prayer" was my favorite song and video?

Amusing...

An amusing conversation I had with one of my engineers today after someone gave me a big chocolate brownie...

Them -- "If I die I want to come back in a body like yours"

Me -- "That would mean you'd have to be a women. I don't recommend it. You feel like a crazy person 95% of the time."

Them -- "Well that's not really what I meant but one of the funniest things I've ever heard. I was speaking more to your metabolism"

...

"...You know me, oh you think you do you just don't seem to see

I've been waiting all this time to be, something I can't define..."

Truth...

Honesty is the best policy.

I have heard this my whole life. I always try to be honest with those around me. I have had moments, not proud ones, that I hid the truth longer than I should have. But it ate away at me until I came clean.

Sometimes in life we don't have the oppertunity to "come clean". Sometimes others do it for us. Is that fair? Should you give someone the oppertunity to be truthful?

My question is: Does it matter how the truth comes out as long as it does?

Ignorance...

Is it strange that I don't want an old friend to find out the truth? I know finding out would possibly mend our broken friendship, but it would destroy her life.

Is ignorance really bliss?

Demand...

Some say I am demanding...Some say I just know what I want... -- ME

I have been called demanding so many times in my life. Maybe I am. But is it so bad to know what you want? To not settle for anything else?

I am passionate about things that are important to me.

I don't do things halfway. It's all or nothing. This can be good and bad.

I don't realize I am stressed till it is too late and I break. Writing expresses that emotion. Photography helps me see...seeing things through the lens causes you to see life differently. I never want to lose that perspective. Finding beauty in the small things.

A moment. A look. A touch. An emotion.

On that note, I am starting a photography blog. I have all my images on Flickr, but I have had friends, family and other random folks ask me to start a blog. I want to keep my images and blog separate. So if you are interested you can follow me...if not, then you don't have to look.

www.Samantha-Jane-Images.blogspot.com

"...people say they need to express their emotions...Photography doesn`t teach you to express your emotions it teaches you to see." -- Berenice Abbott

Vegas Baby...

WE

Are going to Vegas in 14 days to an amazing Photography Workshop....

I am so excited I can barley handle it!

...

A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left... -- Marilyn Monroe

A feeling through Lyric...

Vanilla Twilight : Owl City

The stars lean down to kiss you,
And I lie awake I miss you,
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere.
Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly,
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'll send a postcard to you dear,
Cause I wish you were here.

I'll watch the night turn light blue,
But it's not the same without you,
Because it takes two to whisper quietly,
The silence isn't so bad,
Till I look at my hands and feel sad,
Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly.

I'll find repose in new ways,
Though I haven't slept in two days,
Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone.
But drenched in Vanilla twilight,
I'll sit on the front porch all night,
Waist deep in thought because when I think of you.
I don't feel so alone.
I don't feel so alone.
I don't feel so alone.

As many times as I blink I'll think of you... tonight.
I'll think of you tonight.

When violet eyes get brighter,
And heavy wings grow lighter,
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again.
And I'll forget the world that I knew,
But I swear I won't forget you,
Oh if my voice could reach back through the past,
I'd whisper in your ear,
Oh darling I wish you were here.

Head First...

A friend said to me the other day, you always go into relationships head first.

I know this about myself. I know that I dive in, and rarely look back. This causes a lot of heartache. But I don't know how to do it any differently. I am either all in or all out. This causes so freak outs on my part. Usually resulting in me feeling like a crazy girl. I had one of those this week...and I regret it.

Can't Lie...

This was on a friends FB and I needed a break...so here ya go.

1.What was the last thing you put in your mouth? Chocolate
2.Where was your profile picture taken? Saltair, by the Great SLC
3.Can you play Guitar Hero? Yes, but not well
4.Name someone who made you laugh today? My Engineers
5.How late did you stay up last night and why? 11 -- couldn't fall asleep
6.If you could move somewhere else, would you? Sure why not, but I would want to come back.
7. Ever been kissed under fireworks? Yep
8. Which of your friends lives closest to you? Ree or Ash...they live across the hall and through the wall.
9. Do you believe ex's can be friends? Yep
10. How do you feel about Dr Pepper? Fountain...
11. When was the last time you cried really hard? Probably in June...
12. Who took your profile picture? Phatty D
13. Who was the last person you took a picture of? My Cousin's little Girl Addi, see my flickr
14. Was yesterday better than today? Yes my headache is gone!
15. Can you live a day without TV? Yes
16. Are you upset about anything? Not today...but maybe later.
17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? Yes
18. Are you a bad influence? No way.
19. Night out or night in? Either. Depends on how I am feeling that day
20. What items could you not go without during the day? Diet Pepsi and Water
21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? I can't remember!
22. What does the last text message in your inbox say? How about 6:30, and where should I pick you up at?
23. How do you feel about your life right now? Good :)
24. Do you hate anyone? Nope, wasted emotion
25. If we were to look in your facebook inbox, what would we find? Random messages, nothing too interesting
26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass? Yes
27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before? yes
28. What song is stuck in your head? Lady Gaga songs. haha
29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be? A hot boy.
30.Wanna have grand kids before you’re 50? No.
31. Name something you have to do tomorrow? Photog class!
32. Do you think too much or too little? TOO MUCH!
33. Do you smile a lot? Yep!

Trappers...

Friday night I wanted to try out my new computer...so of course that meant we had to go and shoot a few pics to mess around with :) We drove up to Trappers Loop, right below Snowbasin. I love that drive. It is 20 minutes, and you feel like you are a world away. I think I have found something I love as much as writing...

Monday...

So I have had a migraine for the past 5+ days. I say plus because I really can't remember when it started...just that it is really annoying and I am sick of my head hurting all of the time. To be honest I think it is related to sleep. I haven't been sleeping well again...well that is unless I take a pill before I go to sleep. This to me says that I am far more stressed then I am letting myself believe.

It snowed again...and I LOVE it...I guess that is the one good thing in my life right now. Ski season is rapidly approaching and I need to start getting my fat butt in shape or I am going to die on the mountain!

Good news...my windshield is no longer leaking...and they gave me free windshield wiper blades! I didn't even notice till I was driving yesterday and I realized they looked different. haha.

I got a new iMac...I don't love it yet...probably because I don't know how to use it yet...But once I figure it out...I am sure I will love it. I have many photo's to post to my flickr...but I need to finish editing some of them...which means I need to figure out my new program!

Today I got hit on at the gas station. I had left and he actually had the lady come out to my car to get me. For a second I thought that maybe she thought I stole something. But then he asked if I was single. I lied. I said I had a boyfriend. He asked if he was made of glass...I gave him a blank stare...he said "so he won't break when you drop him for me"...I gave a courtesy laugh and left...awkward...I still feel bad for lying.

Slacking...

I have been a blogger slacker. I have been so busy at work and home that I haven't even had time to think about it. There have been so many things this week that have just made me frustrated and a bit irritable.

First things first. My windshield....so 2 months ago I went in to have my windshield replaced, you would think that would be easy?? Not so much. First trip they ordered the wrong one...second trip they took 2 hours to install it...third trip because it was leaking...forth because it was still leaking...fifth to get replaced, and they didn't even schedule the appointment...and now sixth to actually have it installed. Seriously....Ugh.

Secondly....dating sucks. I am good at the beginning part, the time before you start dating. Before you know if they are interested in you. I am horrible at the second part...the time when you are dating and dating other people. When you don't know how much they like you, or if things are going to go anywhere. And then I am great at being in a relationship. I am in the in between stage...and it is miserable.

The one good thing that happened this week?? I snowed! I am so excited. I am a child of winter...Let the count down begin....about 55 days till the ski season begins!!!!!!!