faking it...

this last weekend i had an amazing time

there are few times i really let go

living in the moment

letting my emotions be free

few people can truly bring this out in me

my best friend

my wife

a few lovers

my puppies

baby

most times i will only be free when i trust

but once and awhile it's risk

but one i am willing to take

it is usually not worth it

but i have learned to recover quickly...

i took a risk

i had fun

a lot of it

my heart is fine

i think it is numb

and some part of me likes that

i don't want to hurt....again

 i think it would be easier to fake it

all of it

happiness

love

passion

emotion

don't get me wrong...

i am happy...alone

with me

my life

my wife

my friends

the simple life

i do what i want

when i want

with who i want

but something is missing...

my fairytale....

my once upon a time....

and i don't think it exists

but i will still wait

holding on to hope

because without hope

faith

we have nothing...

 and hopefully there will come a time 

when i won't be let down

brushed aside

 they will hold on with all they have

because i am not worth losing

they will chose to stay

and we won't be faking it... 

"and they loved with a love that was more than love" -- Edger Allen Poe