3 years...

it really is crazy how fast time goes by...

three years ago today i was proposed to  

by an amazing man

i feel so blessed to have had him in my life

even if it was for a short period of time

i wasn't engaged for long

in fact it was only about 3 weeks

this date has not bothered me the previous 2 years

but this year...

it is such a strange feeling

i feel....sad

not in missing him

or even wishing i would have stayed

i want to be married 

i want nothing more in the world than to have a family

eliminate the insane schedule that i try to keep

i want simple life

to take care of someone

let them take care of me

perhaps it is the fear of rejection that keeps me from getting that close

knowing that they could hurt me

leave

break me

how is it that people can just let go

meet - fall - marry

i honestly don't get it

i have incredible friends

and loves...

i am blessed

and happy...

i guess what it comes down to is

i am ready for the next stage...

if i can let go...

let it happen