truth....

sometimes when we ask a person for the truth we aren't fully prepared for the answer...

when i date someone i ask a lot of random questions
request random bits of information
like what you ask....

"tell me something you normally wouldn't tell me"

and most of the time i am prepared for an answer such as
"i like you more than you think i do"
or
"i once _______"

but generally i do not expect them to tell me about myself
things about myself that i don't even admit...

this is what i got:

"um...i think you are very insecure, but that can be fixed
i think there is a lot you need to let go of in order for you
to actually be happy, because i don't really think you are right now"

happiness is relative - i am happy
but i think he was speaking more in regards to relationships
which i agree

i bond myself to emotionally unavailable men
i see an end - and therefore it is safe
i fill a need they have - and in return i feel wanted

i avoid commitment - or potential of commitment
even though that is what i want...

maybe i just want someone to fight & prove
to make me feel worth it...
or that they actually do want all of me - not just part

i need them to give in - before i think i can
i need to know they are in it...
that it is really all of me that they want

or maybe i need to just let go...
no control
no sensor
just pure emotion...just me

“Yes, I was infatuated with you: I am still. No one has ever heightened such a keen capacity of physical sensation in me. I cut you out because I couldn't stand being a passing fancy. Before I give my body, I must give my thoughts, my mind, my dreams. And you weren't having any of those. ”
Sylvia Plath,

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