Little Bro's Wedding

So my little brother got married...kind of crazy! Below is a picture from the day he received his endowment. This picture is priceless to me for one reason. I lost my grandfather when I was 8, he had a heartattack. But we are blessed that he had an identical twin brother Jim. Jim is amazing and comes and supports our family so well. It has given us a chance to grow older with our grandpa :)

The parents Mike, my Mom, Whit, Jake, Tracee, Daddy

The kids: Tyanna, Kohnor, Jake, me, Tawnee

Bridesmaids with Jake

Fam: me, Kohnor, Ty, Tawn, Daddy, Tracee

Me, Whit, Jake, Kohnor

The little brothers and I...

Catching Up...

Oh my, a lot has happened. Things that I don't really want to talk about to be honest. Most of you already know, and a few don't. But to sum it up the last 3 weeks of my life have not been awesome. I have had my heart broken in ways I can't even begin to explain. I have faced challenges of anxiety I didn't even know existed, so paralyzing that I honestly didn't know if I would survive it. Every day has gotten a little easier, but the pain is still there. And I wonder if it will ever completely go away. I have been through break ups, I have lost friends, but nothing like this. I wake up in the morning waiting for the pain to be gone, the sick feeling in my stomach to leave, but it's there. The betrayal, the heartbreak, the disbelief. I know the pain will fade over time, but I don't believe it will ever completely go away. This time I think it was just a bit too deep to forget...to heal.

Realization

Last night as I watched the Bachelorette I had a realization. Jillian had it brought to her attention that one of the guys on the show may have a girlfriend back home and was on the show for the wrong reasons. She asked the man who it was to stand up and be a man, but he didn't. All the other men in the room knew who it was, but they didn't say a word. Now had this been a room full of women, they would have spilled and been pointing fingers.

Life is hard enough, why is it that we do things to intentionally hurt one another?

On a side note, I am making my blog private today. Email me your email address if you would like to be added. Sammy4041@gmail.com

Retirement...

So my boss is retiring...this makes me depressed. To say this least since Tuesday of last week I have not had one awesome day...they have all been pretty terrible to be honest it's been one thing after another. I am hoping that tomorrow will turn that all around. Tomorrow could make all the not awesome days totally worth it...or it could also suck...and that would not be awesome...

Graduation

Oh my gosh, my little sister Tawnee graduated. Kind of strange, she is the baby of the family. It kind of makes me sad actually. But at the same time I am so excited for her. She is so stinking smart, and was awarded a academic scholarship. She is a beauty too! Anyhow, here are a couple of pictures from the evening. The sisters, Me, Tawnee and Tyanna

Me, Ty, Tawnee, steph mom Tracee, Daddy

Me Ty, Tawnee, Tracee, Gma Loosle

The Graduate, Tawn Tawn

Daddy, Tawn, Tracee

Seriously

I have some of the best friends in the world. One of my BFF's Mindy is such a freaking sweetheart! I was so tired this morning due to my new found insomnia (developed over the last 6 months or so) so Mindy being awesome went and got me Diet Redbull and breakfast! So when I got to work it was sitting on my desk. She is such a lifesaver! I think I will keep her :)

Why is it....

Why is it I torture myself? I do so well....so so so so well....and then I ruin all my hard work. I had finally gotten myself back on diet soda...then what do I do, I get a regular...and it is all down hill from there. One regular becomes a weeks worth...and before I know it, I am hooked again. So today I am back on diet. I hate starting diet soda. It has that weird after taste. Once you are on it, you can't tell the difference. But its just that first couple of days...Please slap my hands if you see me with a regular in my hands again. I don't want to have to go through this all over again!